dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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