all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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