DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
