I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My bed smells like the plague
My life is pants optional.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
