I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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