wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize