Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
