Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
