what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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