Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
