I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
