just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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