I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
