I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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