I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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