I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
