We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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