I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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