i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
