It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He shit in the fireplace
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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