even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im six kinds of drunk right now
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
