Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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