I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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