We won't sleep together?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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