I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
