Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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