When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
