In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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