What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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