you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
