I CAN MOONWALK!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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