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I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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