i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
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