I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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