3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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