RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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