I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
