I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
