I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
