i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
