Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Fuck appropriateness.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
