Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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