I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
