I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
