You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
