And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
