i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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