It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
