Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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