Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
