i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
