Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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