What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
