I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
