really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
