i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
