Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
