She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
