Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
