I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
