from now on my penis is your penis
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
