marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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