Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
