I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
