Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Too much gin, very little bucket
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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