If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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